Met Kali didi (didi = elder sister) while staying at our uncle house in Andharmanick. Met her after a long time - around 10 years. She lives in Hakimpur - the river Sonai flows in front of their house - it’s the border of Bangladesh.  She talked about things that is happening at the border and also about her struggling life which is a story in itself.

From the very beginning - when she was studying in class 8 - her parents n relatives married her off to a man who was quite well off n good looking too. Nobody knew about his past life till a day or 2 before the marriage day. Everything was done and there was no way to step back from the marriage.

The man (with whom didi got married) had an affair with another girl. They loved each other from the time when they were very young. The girl was from a rich family n the man was not so well off then - so the girl’s family were against their marriage. The man worked hard and made some money - but then the girl refused to marry the man … (i guess - she was pressurized to say no otherwise why would she refuse  - she loved him since she was in class 3 and helped the man with money n other stuff …. so there was no reason for her to refuse - except pressurized to say no). Then this man got engaged to didi.

While they (the man n the girl) were going around  - the girl gave him a ring as a token of their love ….. before his marriage day the man wanted to return the ring  to her. So he gave it to his friend and returned the ring to her through him. The girl only said , “he is returning the ring only …. what about the other things i gave him - how will he return them”. and later she committed suicide.

After didi’s marriage , they lived quite happily for sometime. Then all of a sudden the man fell sick - he wouldn’t work and so wouldn’t earn living. They live in a joint family but when he fell sick …. his parents separated them from their joint family saying that didi is responsible for his ill health.

Didi asked for help from her relatives and all the other people she knew. She took him to many doctors - they all said that there is nothing wrong with him …. there is no illness in his body - but as the days went by his health deteriorated.

One night …. he seems to be have almost died. He was not breathing - there was no pulse n the body temperature began to fall too. She call for help - her mother in law was next door but didn’t respond. Didi hurriedly began to massage his hands n feet with oil. She also tried to give him some warm milk. After massaging his hands n feet for some hours - he all of a sudden gasped some air and said “oh Maa” (oh mother).

Most of the time they slept on the varanda …. Didi kept a large knife - holy book - broom - and a burning lamp at the beb side. For many nights  - she sat by his side while he slept …. one night while she was sitting by his bed side she saw a white shadow n heard a voice saying , “for how long will you continue to do this - you may save him today but one day i’ll take him away with me …. he is mine and u won’t be able to save him”.

Still now her husband screams at night … he too wanted to die. He says , “i want to see u suffer after i’m dead”. Didi says , ” fight when u r alive …. when u r dead - everything is over - there will be nothing  left to fight for”.

But now they both have aged …. and so he is dependent on her as he is always sick. She says she may die any day as she is herself ill (she is suffering from anemia - as long as she is taking medicine she is fine) … But still she is not afraid of dying anymore as her both sons are grownup n doing well.

Her whole life has been a struggle ….. struggle to survive n to fight for her rights. Didi’s name is Kali … according to Indian mythology - Goddess Kali is the Goddess of Strength. It seems as if the Goddess herself has given her the strength to flight n survive.

Yesterday we (me n my mother) came back from  Kolkata …. we exactly don’t live in Kolkata but on the outskirt of it.  Barasat - where my 4th mama (maternal uncle) and my choto mashima (younger maternal aunty) lives.  Andhermanick … our maternal ancestral grandfather’s house but he died long ago … my grandmother still lives there with elder uncle n younger and 3rd uncle. Now she has come to Delhi with us … will be staying here n Vridaban with my elder maternal aunty …. she live there.

Our trip to Kolkata was nice … Visited so many places in such a short time : Reached Kolkata on wednesday. Went to Dakhineshwar Kali Mandir n Botanical garden on Thursday. Trip to Dakhineshwar was nice but wasn’t exactly the way i thought it would be. When we visit any temple …. one should spend some time in peace - but we’re eight people in total … some says lets do this - other says lets do that …. and so on which i like do not like !! yes i agree when lots of people gather or goes to visit a place this is bound to happen … it also has a beauty of its own but i guess i don’t like that beauty !!! i will try to go on a different day except Tuesday n Saturday …. maybe there will be less people around too …

Botanical garden (the actual name is Acharya Jagadish Chandra Bose Indian Botanical Garden) - it was good … i liked it but i guess if someone who  knows the garden well came with us or if we would have followed the map well …. then it would have been much more better !! It is a very big place but the maintenance was terrible  esp. the toilets … they were awfully dirty … thank God i didn’t have to go !! Otherwise it was okay.

On Friday n Saturday … we went n stayed in Andhermanick .  During our stay at Andhermainck - we went to visit “Echhamoti” river at Katakhali n roam around other villages. Met one of my cousin elder sister after a long long time … talking with her was very interesting … one of my cousin brother was there too.

On Sunday came back to Barasat … visited Victoria Memorial Hall n Birla  Planetarium n Saheed Minar … from all these i liked the Victoria - it’s a sort of museum with lots of Victorian painting - weapons - books - statues and so on …. enjoyed it. Went there by Kolkata metro … which is 25 years old and that makes it special … otherwise it is not more than a under ground local train if compare to Delhi metro !!!

Went to Jethima’s (aunty) house on Monday - she lives in Ariadaho near Dakhineshwar temple …  i liked it too but stayed there for few hours. On Tuesday went to Amulia to pay our offerings to our ancestral temple (kali mandir) … that was nice too - really enjoyed the time …. but coming back from there was a hassle due to lack of transport - that a different story altogether …

On Wednesday took the morning flight to Delhi …. end of our Kolkata trip !!! As a whole had a good time

p.s. Wrote this article weeks back … went to Kolkata n so posting it now

In Bengali tradition or say culture - we eat 14 different types of leafy vegetable (mixed together) n we lit 14 “prodeep” (diyas) to our fore fathers.

It’s a beautiful feeling as we remember our ancestors n pray that their soul may rest in peace …. here ever they may be their blessing may remain with us !!!

It’s a emotional moment - (well for me it is … n i guess for others it’s the same too !!)

But seriously -  does soul really does exists …. do they really go to heaven or hell or stay some where in between - or is it simply our wild imagination …..

For me this wild imagination is the Truth !!! I have read in R.K. Narayanan’s - the famous Indian author who created imaginary Malgudi town … autobiography - that he could communicate with his loving wife who died some years after their marriage … after some point of time -  he actually could  see her fade image.

Even heard that guru Rabindranath Tagore could communicate with his late brother …

When i read such things …. i feel little happy - when any of my loving person stay no more … i may not be able to communicate with them like sir R.K. Narayanan n guru Rabindranath Thakur did  - but happy to know that they will be around some where around us … won’t be able to see them but can feel their blessings in our day to day life …. n so this day is special !!!

We celebrated”Kojagori Lakkhi puja” on 3rd oct. on a full moon night. Goddess Lakkhi is the Goddess of wealth.

We celebrate this puja on the first full moon after “Durga puja” …. there is a story about why to celebrate this puja ..

There was a kind Raja (king) - at his kingdom everybody was happy … he had told everybody that anything that’s not sold in the main market of his kingdom will be bought by the Raja himself at a reasonable price.

One day, a villager from a nearby village bought a iron doll which nobody bought …  he went about on the roads saying “would anyone buy Alakkhi”. On hearing this Raja bought it n kept it in a room. That evening when Raja was going in his prayer room he heard someone’s crying - went in a room a saw a beautiful girl sitting on the floor n crying. When asked why she is crying she said - I’m RajLakkhi … crying because had to leave this kingdom after 3 days. Raja asked what have i done wrong that makes you leave … She said - you bought Alakkhi so now i can’t stay here anymore… but before she leave she gave her a boon that he would be able to hear the voice of all the creates of animal kingdom.

Raja was very sad … he couldn’t sleep all night. Next night he saw someone leaving the kingdom - when asked who she was … she said - i’m  BhagoLakkhi… leaving ur kingdom as u bought Alakkhi home …

…. sorry i guess i will have to write it tomorrow as it’s quite late at night … have to get up early tomorrow morning !!

Will start from where i left ……

Then Raja saw another woman leaving the kingdom too - when asked she said ” I’m Josholakkhi n i m sure u know the reason for leaving ur kingdom”.

Next night Raja again saw a man n a woman leaving his kingdom … when asked the man said ” I’m Dharmoraaj n she is Kulolakkhi - we’re leaving as u bought Alakkhi”. Raja said that he cannot stop Kulolakkhi but he will stop Dharmoraaj - he won’t let him go … as it is not his fault that he bought Alakkhi …. “to save my word i bought it ” !!

As days went by the kingdom’s wealth n condition deteriorated … seeing all this queen got worried. Raja felt very depressed - doesn’t get taste of the food so asked the cook not to put ghee (clarified butter) in his food. At dinner time - small black ants gathers around his plate everyday - that day one of the ant said to another ant ” Look Raja is so poor now that he cannot afford ghee anymore “.

Raja smiled on hearing their talk. Rani asked why he smiled all of a sudden. Raja said he couldn’t tell her otherwise he will die , but rani (queen) insisted that he have to her no matter what. Finally raja said to come her at the bank of river Ganges in the evening - there he would tell her the reason.

When rani reached the Ganges bank - raja again asked ” Don’t you want to see me alive” - rani still insisted on knowing the reason…. As they were talking two goats appeared from the near by forest.  she goat said to  he goat ” bring me that bundle of grass floating in the river .. i will eat with pleasure “. He goat said ” are u mad … i will die if i jump in the high tide river …. i’m not stupid like the raja who is will to die for a woman”.  On hearing this - raja left rani on the river bank n went back to the kingdom.

Rani got lost in the forest - she cried day n night n tried to find her way out. One day she heard loud noise of “shank”(large seashell) n “Kortal” … on reaching the spot she found that some rishi’s daughters were worshiping an idol made of “pituli”(dough of rice flour) with “Noibido” - “chere” coconutwater n “tal-er phophor”. Rani got curious n asked them what they were doing … Rishi’s daughters said ” It is Aashin masher-r Kojagor … lakkhi pujo is celebrated today”. Rani asked what happen if u perform this pujo … they said “Alakkhi goes out of the house n Lakkhi comes in the house” .

On hearing this rani also does the same rituals with sincerity as rishi’s daughters did …. ate “proshad” n worshiped whole night … Meanwhile the Alakkhi at raja’s house went out of the house n Lakkhi comes in n all his fortune came back overnight …

Raja got surprised …. then Dharmoraaj told raja about rani’s worship - raja felt sad n searched for rani n brought her back with all respect.

From that time onward … rani worshiped Goddess Lakkhi with sincerity n love ….. from that time onward Lakkhi puja is celebrated by all !!!

We too celebrated the Lakkhi puja but not like the really one … just did a simple puja at home. Enjoyed it very much esp. when my mom read this story …. but she was saying that this story is read on Diwali Lakkhi puja … n on KojagoriLakkhi puja another story is read but right now we do not have that one … when i have it will write it !!!